Praise God Who Makes us UNable…

It has been the wildest, weirdest month. I have been sick in some form the entire time. I was either flat on my back or slugging along, struggling to feel better, and I am still trying my best to get better now. Ughh!!! This is very unusual for me. I generally bounce back pretty well, AND the timing right before my daughter's wedding was just not good!

Truth be told, I have also had a little faith struggle,

BUT the more I think of it, the more I see God's providential hand.

I’ve been thinking about the song "Oceans." We love to sing these words...

“Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior.”

We should because it’s a beautiful thought of God helping us rise up and walk. With that, though, I think we generally expect that walking on water and overcoming in victory always means that we get better, that the marriage works out, that we get the job or the house, that our kids do what they are supposed to, and that our circumstances ultimately go as planned. In other words, we believe in the white picket fence, rainbows, butterflies, and unicorns version of our story that God is "supposed" to give us.

But what happens when we ask the Lord to do things for us or to help us achieve something, and He just says NO… In fact, for purposes we cannot see or understand, He takes us in the complete opposite direction.

Could it be that He makes us unable to protect us, to protect others, or to move us out of the way so He can do what will bring Him glory and our ultimate good?

I am so grateful that the Lord made me able to go to the wedding, but in everything surrounding that day, I have been entirely unable. I still am!! But there have been these tiny, precious moments where I have felt His grace and hand. I genuinely believe He surrounds me all the time, but I have been unable to feel much of anything. Yet, he has met me here where I am and given me everything necessary to partake in his divine nature, sustaining me with what I need and nothing more according to His plan for me.

If we think deeper than my pitiful story, we can see the pattern of God moving people and pieces so that He can work out His plan and pleasure. Think about Adam and Eve, Noah and family, Abraham and Sarah, Hagar, Joseph, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob, Leah, and Rachel. Consider the lives of Moses, David, Soloman, Isaiah, Jeremiah, Daniel (Shadrach Meschach, and Abednego), Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Mary, Elizabeth, John the Baptist, Mary of Magdala, Peter, Paul, and Timothy.

If you let your heart wander through those names and stories, you can quickly gather many things that did not go as they intended. You can also see the points where God worked and moved in ways that prevented them from fulfilling their ideal plan—to protect them, to protect others, or to move them out of the way so He could do what would bring Him glory and their—and ultimately our—good! We can see His power and perfection doing things that we would never plan or follow through on. We can see HIM!!!

Honestly, I have felt so bad that I have been unable to do my regular Bible study. I could not lift my head enough to focus. My heart was so hungry, longing for a word but unable to find food, BUT this is what is so wonderful about God's Word...IT REMAINS! It is living and active even when we are not! Thus, as I consider what God has shown me over the years through the perfection of His inerrant, complete Word...even there in my blah, for lack of a better word, I experience HIM and am filled with wonder, hope, surrender, and release.

The greatest revelation I have had in this time is understanding that overcoming is not always about getting better, rising up, running strong, accomplishing my goals, and crushing every day. No! In fact, overcoming is seeking Him with all of my heart and finding Him.

“Your grace abounds in deepest waters.

Your sovereign hand will be my guide.

Where feet may fail, and fear surrounds me.

You've never failed, and You won't start now

So I will call upon Your Name

And keep my eyes above the waves

When oceans rise

My soul will rest in Your embrace

For I am Yours, and You are mine"

"You breathe in me and I'm alive

With the power of Your holiness

You breathe in me and You revive

Feelings in my soul that I've laid to rest

So breathe in me, I need You, now

I've never felt so dead within

So breathe in me, maybe somehow

You can breathe new life in me again"

If you have not already signed up to receive email updates when new things are posted to aheartrefined.com go to the "Sign up" button at the top of the home page and do that today!!